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pinayqt2
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Name: Nina
Gender: Female
Interests: watching and wondering about the sky- sunsets, the stars, thunderstorms, small rainshowers, clouds, just every little aspect of it,- people watching, band, photography, singing to myself, soccer, color guard, youth group, email, starbucks, talking with friends....
Expertise: sleeping, eating, breathing, drinking Starbucks...(all of that stuff that just comes naturally)
Occupation: Student
Message: message me
Website: visit my website
AIM:  ninanator22
Member Since:
2/5/2004
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| Well hey there, Xanga. I haven't completely forgotten about you...
Some things I've been mulling over, in an attempt to think more clearly:
- Senior year has been very little like I expected it to be. That is neither good nor bad, just kind of how things turned out. My closest friends are made of pure awesome, and I love spending lots and lots of my time just hanging out with them. Granted, the people absolutely closest to me lately are not the ones who have always been there - but I'm okay with that. And, I'm getting a final chance, a final year, to get to know a growing number of people who I wish I'd taken the initiative to meet earlier. I'm loving the social side of school, and dealing with the academic aspect. There's this thing called senioritis...it is not made of fun.
- Football ended prematurely for our team this year. For any of you who really know me, or have browsed this blog for a short time, it will not come as a surprise that I was greatly saddened by this.
- I've decided to really jump on opportunities this year. In particular, opportunities to take advantage of all of the things this town and city have to offer. A lot of those things involve music and artsy shtuff. (a.k.a. concerts and photo adventures with friends). So far, so good.
- Oh, and I think I will be trying out for our next school theater production/musical: Little Women. I never realized how much I missed performing until my sophomore year...and it's taken me this long to do something about it. I used to sing/dance/act in church productions, and then I was in concert band, and then on color guard. And then, I quit. That said, I'm terrified of the thought of an audition and I constantly second guess even trying. It is definitely intimidating when surrounded by good [read: sign-us-now] singers/actors.
-For a time I was rather extroverted, spontaneous and funny. I loved to dance, be in skits and sing. 70s karaoke. In front of a camera... Something happened to that girl. Only a handful of my friends could legitimately say they have seen glimpses of that girl, even fewer could say they've known her. I don't know what changed, but something... Truthfully, I don't have some ginormous problem with being quiet, introspective, reserved. And I think there is plenty of room for both sides of a person. Just haven't figured out the balance yet, that's all.
- I think, in the end, I'm just really ready for a restart. In everything from church-things to surroundings. Which most likely won't come until college. But I know I can make it that far. Until then, I've got some songs to study for an audition I need to commit to...and laundry to do. | | |
| do i live in a war zone? or near a volcano? because apparently, things just like to BLOW UP in my face.
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| so i usually don't do these. but i needed an outlet....hmmm.
- i miss you and really wish you'd call again soon. to catch up on everything, so much has happened. i'm just at a point where it'd be so nice to hear an old familiar voice. i feel like the last time we talked it was on such odd terms. i hate that. i want to know how you are, what Dad's up to in your life.
- okay, you. i love you, but boy - what are you thinking? what makes you believe that anything you've done is unforgivable to the point you just beat yourself up over it? i know we've never really talked a bunch...but there is so much i just want to tell you. i see so much potential in you. so much passion and leadership waiting to burst. stop getting caught up in all of this relationship craziness and RUN. run after Dad with everything you've got. because once you do, i fully believe many will follow and the youth group can say, 'hello, boy leaders' for the first time in a while.
- what happened??? you have fallen of the face of the earth...and i miss you. i miss your crying out to Dad with reckless abandon. i miss the way people just lit up when they saw you. wherever you are and whatever you're up to, know that you are not forgotten.
- i can't wait until we finally get to go swing dancing together. it'll be fun just to let loose a little bit and just be friends. i'm glad i've gotten to know you more this year.
- it's so good to see you growing and maturing in your faith and trust. you're really stepping it up, and that's not unnoticed. i want to know more of your heart, though, and i can't wait until those future conversations.
- you make me laugh. the way that you come out of your shell around her and get sassy and sarcastic is so fun to watch. why don't you two just get married already? ;)
- you are a weird one to figure out. it seems like the three years i've known you, you just keep trying to put on a personality as rapid as the season changes. you have so much talent. pursue those dreams you have to grow that talent. what you find may surprise you.
- it was so good to see you again the other day. thanks for being so encouraging and just sweet. you had no way of knowing how much i needed that.
 | Currently Listening
Thud
By Kevin Gilbert
When You Give Your Love To Me
see related |
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| And tonight, for the first time in who knows when, it kind of felt like...
home. for a brief moment at least, things felt familiar (as familiar as sass fights, laughter and face-licking go).
it's kind of scary. weird scary. unknown scary.
but there's a glimmer of hope.
and a lot of unanswered questions.
and there's been some confrontation/challenging. (boys, you better step it up. we need you to step it up.)
and that's that.
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| so there's this thing that a group of revolutionaries i know used to do.
it was this whole, simple concept - a way to cheer someone up who'd had a bad day/week/whatever...or maybe to celebrate not having a bad day/week/whatever...
and it was cheap. under $5 and a small drive to be exact.
this thing i'm talking about is what i like to call "the random coffee drop-off":
1) find out someone who could use a cup of coffee/frappuccino/etc.
2) call that someone while you're at a coffeeshop and ask for their location and their drink order
3) deliver. on your own time. with your own money
4) change the world with a little unexpected love. day by day.
well, i'm here to say that the "random coffee drop-off" is back in action. with a new group of people and a new drive.
this is exciting.
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